Brilliant Masterpiece or Big Mess? Is It Possible to Embrace Both?
We are complex and wonderful human beings who in one minute say or do something brilliant and in the next crumble into a pitiful mess. Being both an awful mess and a masterpiece in any situation is part of our humanness. Yet too often we dismiss one or the other and view ourselves as black or white. The truth is that you are both all of the time. Humans live with a sliding scale of emotions, of capabilities, and of actions leading to good and not-so-good results. In unsettling times, that sliding scale may seem to be moving more frequently. And on this ever-changing messiness of our behavior, we tend to take a variety of views. Some of us spend too much time ruminating on faults and weaknesses, resulting in a waste of time and a loss of effectiveness. Others of us live in a somewhat blissful ignorance of our faults, with possible bull in a china shop results. And many of us fall into the blame-and-shame game, which is a no-win for all involved.
Even our strengths are a paradox. Looking at your strengths is a great start to embracing your complexity and moving away from black-and-white thinking. It’s good to remember your gifts can seem to change from one instance to the next. Sometimes I have a keen attention to detail, and the next minute I miss the semi-truck driving onto my lawn. The real key is knowing when to use what to accomplish your goal, versus judging gifts as good or bad. Sometimes attention to detail is good; sometimes focusing on the big picture is better. It all depends on the project and goal, or on the circumstances in which you find yourself.
Take a deep dive into who you are, and then focus on the significance of you and the strengths with which you are blessed. Focusing on the positive is extremely important in this stressful time. Look at behavior beyond personality traits—other key indicators such as workplace values, relating styles, work style, strengths, and your conflict-resolution approach. Move beyond the usual personality tools popular today that want to say you are solely this or that. Embrace your messy yet wonderfully complex ways of being, and be ready to stand up and claim your complexity.
Identify and remove roadblocks. Roadblocks may include self-talk that keeps you in rumination versus action, blame and shame versus accountability, or just plain not taking the time to look at valuable feedback. A plan to minimize and remove roadblocks can be fairly simple—committing to saying positive affirmations. Or it could be more involved, such as taking a class to learn more about your God-given identity. Find a group and a professional, a hobby enthusiast, or a small-group Bible study to reinforce and hone your talents and polish your identity and gifts.
Practice! Seek the help and guidance of others—mentors, peers, or coaches—who will help you embrace the totality of you. Stop focusing on either black or white, and stop judging yourself. We’re all on a journey. Sometimes you stay the course. No matter what, it is a messy journey of slow, bumpy roads riddled with potholes one minute and smooth highways of speed the next.
Embrace the journey to brilliance and, just as importantly, embrace the divine marvel of you. The “yet” to be developed skills, the missteps, the talent—happening all at the same time—believe it or not, are part of shaping your Brilliance.