Sometimes you wanna go . . .
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came.
(Cheers theme song written by Gary Portnoy)
Recently, I checked into my local gym to workout and the desk clerk greeted me by name. I smiled! It felt like I belonged.
Now I am fully aware that the only reason the attendant knew my name was because she read it on the computer screen; yet, a sense of peace settled inside. I belonged to the community of my gym.
Belonging is one of five basic needs that according to PBSP, a psychological therapy system that uses a mind-body approach to emotional well-being and peak performance, is necessary to be met in order for individuals to become their ‘true self’.
Greeting someone by name helps foster the sense of belonging which is so important to well-being and to doing our best. I think my workout that morning pushed the limits more than usual.
However, a word of caution before you run around the office calling everyone by name. Names are special – they are an indicator that you value the person and appreciate him or her – not just a skill set he or she offers to get the job done. Using a person’s name to build a positive relationship must be authentic and genuine and not just something you do because you read it on a blog.
A few years ago I was trying to convince a sales associate that I needed an “extra” service on an item purchased. He called the manager over to explain why the company could not grant my request. The manager saw my name on the contract and proceeded to use it at the beginning and sometimes in the middle of every sentence to “nicely” tell me why he could not oblige my request. I was so irritated by the end of the interaction that I was almost happy I didn’t receive the added bonus. Turns out he took the “use the customer’s name to build a positive relationship” too far. It wasn’t sincere and appeared manipulative.
Using names helps fill an important psychological need as the song Where Everybody Knows Your Name tells us. If you want your team members and colleagues to truly shine with their gifts and talents and reap brilliant results, make sure he/she feels a sense of belonging. We all want to “be where everybody knows your name.”